A Biblical Perspective on Marriage
By Jon W. Quinn
There was a song a couple of decades or so ago which was
entitled "Look What They've Done to my Song". It voiced the
concern and grief of a song writer over others taking a song he
had written and changing it all around. He was disappointed.
It occurs to me that the Lord must be mighty disappointed
with us as well. There has not been a single good thing that He
has given us but what that we insist on changing it thinking we
can make it better only to ruin it. Marriage is a case in
point.
Today in our society marriage is taking a bad rap. The idea
is expressed so often that marriage is an unwise and unrewarding
relationship to get involved in. "Why ruin a perfectly good
relationship by getting married?" is one sentiment that is often
expressed by the entertainment media. "Why get married, after
all, its only a piece of paper" is another shallow observation
that is often made. Almost every religious denomination has
explained away Jesus' statements concerning the duration of
marriage. Do they not think that Jesus knew what He was talking
about? People talk about giving up freedom and having to be
concerned about another human being as reasons they do not think
very highly of the relationship. And yes, there are plenty of
godless marriages that consist mainly of a daily, torturous
grind; by all means avoid them, but do not dismiss marriage as
unworkable. Consider some Biblical principles and ideas about
marriage.
GODLY MARRIAGES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND JOYFUL RELATIONSHIPS
"For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.
This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ
and the church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also
love his own wife; and let the wife see to it that she respect
her husband" (EPH 5:31-33). This passage is the final words of a
discourse that began back in verse twenty-two. Paul points out
that he has actually been talking about two similar things; the
relationship of Christ and His church is paralleled with the
relationship of a husband and wife. Get this point: the
relationship between Christ and His people is a very precious
thing to be guarded and nurtured. It is to be a warm and loving
relationship as Jesus and His people become one. So why did Paul
use the marriage relationship to picture this? Not because
marriage is an ugly thing to be avoided as many today seem to be
saying, but because that is also how the marriage relationship
ought to be and will be when a couple allow God to direct their
relationship as husband and wife.
It is not as though the Bible does not recognize that there
exists bad marriage relationships. It does; but it also gives
instructions on how to avoid such mistakes and on how to help
rectify problems when they do exist.
WHEN DOES GOD ALLOW THE DISSOLUTION OF A MARRIAGE?
"Consequently, they are no longer two, but one flesh. What
therefore God has joined together let no man separate...And I say
unto you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and
marries another woman commits adultery" (MATT 19:6-9). "Whoever
divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery
against her.; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries
another man, she is committing adultery" (MATT 5:11,12). Jesus
was quite plain about when God allows His people to divorce and
remarry. Only when a husband or wife has been sexually unfaithful
can they be scripturally divorced and then the wronged ex-spouse
be free to remarry. This is the only reason Jesus gives. He could
have included more if He had chosen to; He could have given three
or four other reasons but He did not. He said that, with the lone
exception of immorality, every divorce and remarriage results in
adultery.
MARRIAGE IS HONORABLE
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the
marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God
will judge" (HEB 13:4). There is absolutely nothing unholy or
unwholesome in any part of what God has ordained concerning
marriage. It is a good and honorable state. To suppose that
prohibiting marriage or taking vows of celibacy makes one purer
is to hold in dishonor what God as commanded that we hold in
honor. "...seared in their own conscience as with a branding
iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods,
which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who
believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is
good..." (I TIM 4:2-4).
Whatever limitations God places upon who can marry does not
have anything to do with marriage itself being less than good. As
we have already seen, God does not allow one whose previous
marriage and divorce did not involve adultery on the other
partner's part to remarry (MATT 19:12). God also instructs young
widows to remarry if they wish, but "only in the Lord" (I COR
7:39). And though no command is given, there is advice that if
persecution or other forms of distress are prevalent, then the
unmarried should consider not taking on the additional
responsibilities of marriage at that time, but it is up to them
(I COR 7:25-28).
SOME FINAL THOUGHTS ON HUSBANDS AND WIVES
"Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church
and gave Himself up for her" (EPH 5:25). Husbands here are
commanded to place their wives' needs even before their own,
unselfishly giving of self for her benefit. "...encourage the
young women to love their husbands" (TITUS 2:4). Likewise, the
wife is to make love a two way street. "Wives, be subject to your
husbands..." (EPH 5:22). Wives are told to accept the husbands
role as head of the home. "Husbands...grant her honor..." (I PET
3:7). Husbands are to give the same kind of respect to the wife
as they would to a king. Only when we seek out and accept God's
marital advice will we truly realize the joy of marriage.
Reprinted From the Bradley Banner Bradley Church of Christ Bradley, Illinois February 3, 2000
